Apr 29, 2014

An ode to sauna.

You walk in.
You´re bare.
Your skin glitters.
Sweat drops push through your skin.
Until they drip.
You breathe out.
Hot air.
You scratch your skin.
And dead skin gets stuck under your fingernails.
You start to feel the heat.
Water on the stove.
More heat.
You can´t take it anymore.
The cleanse is done.
The process is over.
You walk out.
Open the window.
Your body releases heat.
It looks like smoke.
You look through the window.
The freshest breathe of air you´ve ever felt.
The smell of nature.
You see the ocean.
You hear the birds.
Soon you´ll take the leap.
The leap for the ocean.
I´ve been dirty for too long.

Apr 28, 2014


I woke up early.
I ran.
I made up for treating my body badly.
My mother asked me if I´m back in a healthy lifestyle.
I said.
I can always have one healthy day.
And a few bad ones after that.
Tomorrow´s a big day.
Have a few meetings.
And a presentation.
I´m happy I´m getting things done.
If I am really determined.
I can do anything.

The weekend was amazing.
So surprising.
Filled with love.
And so rough.
I´m getting old.
I love.
A lot.

I missed this.

Apr 25, 2014

Piece by piece.

I´m putting it all together.
I am seeing an apartment on tuesday.
I have ideas brewing.
I will create.
My school is almost completed.
The sun is shining.
I´m inspired.
It´ll be good.
Lykke Li is playing.
Somehow I have finally understood her.
Sadness is a blessing.

I really do wish my view of the world.
And how I look at things.
Doesn´t change.
Even if I decide to stay in this pessimistic country.
I guess I´m good.
At least for the summer.

I just uploaded some pictures.

My new favourite person.
My sisters precious baby boy.

Miami hotel rooms.
I guess I was just testing to get the light right.

Airport views in Belize City.
Jesus is Lord.
What else can I say?

I miss the crazy and hilarious boys.
They´ll have another brother soon.

Random Caye Caulker rap music video shoots.
Protected by the law.

Our swim school days.

Jezih as the king of the world.
Or Caye Caulker.

Apr 22, 2014


I have been home.
Almost a week. 
It amazing.
It's beautiful.
And yet I am struggling.
After living 2 years away.
I feel like I have to find my role again.
Where should I live?
Who should I see?
What should I do?
It's made me so restless.
My recent years have made me restless.
I need a base.
I want to slow down. 
I think it's here.
My mind is scattered. 
And I'm completly lost. 
No one else around me is. 
And I feel so alone. 
Can you take my hand?
And lead the way.
I'd love to have a navigator.
To guide me through life.

I have missed all of this.

Apr 15, 2014


24 hours in Miami.
I'm wrecked.
And my credit card got stolen.
Here I sit at the airport.
Thirsty as shit.
Boarding in 10 mins.
Baby, I'm going home.
I feel people looking at me.
I look.
And feel.
And so tired.

P.S. I became an auntie yesterday!
My sister gave birth to an amazing human being.

Apr 11, 2014

Final days.

My time here on the island is coming to an end.
I can´t believe it.
Feels sad.
But also very good.
I am excited.
Miami for a day.
And then back home.
It´s been forever.
Last time was in august.

Right now we have the coolest lady staying with us.
She made us lasagne.
She´s 72.
And has had an exciting life.
Tough life.
Has kids.
Who cheated and got someone pregnant.
After 19 years of marriage.
And 5 kids.
She lost a son, who was 26.
She had a blood clot.
She had cancer.
She´s been healthy for 3 years now.
She sold everything she had.
Because she was bored of sitting alone at home.
And now she´s been in Belize for 7 months.
She inspires me.
And I´m happy I can have adult conversations with her.
I never got to do that with my grandparents.

Paradise continued.

Someone left their glasses behind, now they´re mine.

Jezih showed me how to catch small fish during sunset last night.

Luna, the hostel dog was in heat for 2 weeks.
And all the island dogs were here every night driving us crazy.
It´s finally over.

My old den.
I sleep in another little cottage now.

Apr 5, 2014


I wanna dive in Honduras.
I wanna do a yoga retreat in India.
I wanna road trip, again, in the States.
I wanna see friends in Australia.
I wanna surf in Nicaragua.
I wanna dance with locals in Jamaica.
I wanna island jump in Greece.
I wanna lay in a park by the lake in Lugano, Switzerland.
I wanna see the nature in Iceland.
I wanna take pictures of locals in Peru.
I wanna meditate in Hawaii.

This is where life is pulling me.
It´s not a holiday.
It´s a lifestyle.
Are you ready?

Thank you 40 000 people.
For following my adventures.

Home coming.

I´m so restless today.
Feeling like it´s time to make a move.
I´m really scared too.
And maybe a bit upset.
I´m scared about going home.
I keep thinking that I have been away so long.
That I don´t fit in the picture anymore.
I sometimes feel like I have been away so long.
People just forget about me.
And I´m not a part of their lives anymore.
And when I´m back they´re not going to remember that I´m there.
What is my role in the big picture.
Will I find my place?
Makes me sad.
I am regretting not going to Honduras.
And Nicaragua.
I will return.

Yesterday morning was all yellow. 

Apr 1, 2014

Lazy haze.

I was so determined to write.
On my thesis.
I have a week left.
I was so tired.
I woke up at 7am.
And at 10am I was back in bed.
I snoozed through the entire day.
Until I felt guilty and woke up at 5pm.
It was really needed.
Today I was even more determined.
And I really got a lot done today.
So many pages.
I feel positive.
Have to be double trouble bubble determined tomorrow.

You´re probably tired.
Tired of my turquoise pictures.
I guess I am a bit too.

Floating through life.

Never getting sick of these sunsets.

Same old, same old.